Think ultra chocolatey, lightly sweet and a tad salty– a perfect vessel for bright summer jams (to be chased down with coffee).
If this newsletter has somehow found its way into your hands (and you’re not yet subscribed), allow me to help you out:
What someone said in my ig comments: something has changed in the way you make your videos and edit them, I can see the change. I like it!
What I’m saying: in 2019 I met with a trauma informed therapist who, upon hearing my story, promptly stated that in my situation the one and only choice might just be to change my name, move far away and live a quiet and very private life.
(and for those of you who are new here: hi I’m Paola and I’m someone who once upon a time was held captive… and while I managed to get away, clearly, I’m to this date still being stalked and harassed by this individual– who we’re calling in this newsletter Beatrix Lestrange for their flair at the Cruciatus Curse)(and I decided to start talking publicly about it this year after my former business partner, who we’re calling She Who Must Not Be Named, decided it would be a terrific idea to hold it against me to silence me… so she could show up merrily on the internet, stealing years of my work and illegally using my audience to sell her new brand of low carb pasta)(oh, and she also tried to make it out like I’d been swindled by her husbands former business partner… who we’re calling Sirius Black, for I was about to send him straight to Azkaban when he was in fact nothing more than scapegoat).
(side note: I hear You Know Who and Sirius Black randomly ran into each other on the street this year after I began publishing my posts and, naturally, got into a little bit of a duel right then and there)(and what was said left a funny taste in my mouth… so tbch I’ve had to truly attempt let go of any ill intent I’ve had towards You Know Who after everything that has transpired– as my pending post on the subject needs to lack any and all malice)(and you’ll understand why when you read it, but if you’re new here do no harm is something we’re trying to live by on this corner of the internet).
(so if you’re feeling like you crashed into a very awkward conversation in some posts here and are feeling slightly lost… that’s been a bit of the point, and I’ll explain why soon)(sorry for all the suspense though, but thank you to those of you who have been bearing with me through it all).
But back to Bellatrix for a tiny second, as since I began posting again on the internet after my years hiatus (in which they pretty much stopped contacting me completely)… I’ve been receiving upwards of 10 messages a day now.
Their tactic?
For me to continue living in a permanent state of fight and flight, not knowing when their next Cruciatus Curse will hit (you know, for me to open up my social media, blog, email, etc and fear seeing them in the comments).
Do you see it?
To this date they’re still trying to hold me captive from the world, for ‘tis a prime example of what psychologists refer to as Pavlovian conditioning: whereby just like a dog with a shock collar, I’m punished every time I dare to show up (while rewarded by their silence when I retreat).
And this is exactly why that therapist recommended to leave my life behind: Bellatrix is someone who will never be able to let go of me (for they believe our souls are irrevocably linked, as they often proclaim)(i.e. they do not believe that I personally have free will).
So what did I do?
Not much… other than sit back (you know, with all my feelings) and observe if I’m in fact strong enough to perform the type of magic that I need in order to keep my peace; for there is no “return to sender” when it comes to Bellatrix, I’ve had to learn a more advanced magic to fight them off.
A magic called transmutation (i.e. alchemy)– whereby you’re able to turn absolute sh!t into gold, via the most powerful emotion of all: love.
Sounds corny? Yeah, I thought so too for a while as I took the advice granted most often: to stop caring.
But that didn’t do much (other than give me an “idgaf attitude” to life, which I frankly didn’t enjoy). As it turns out, the real magic is to never stop caring and be brave enough to take in all the hate… and transform it into love.
(like I said, totally corny)(but most effective, and I really would know)(for choosing love, every single time, is always the answer).
So a few weeks back, as I became inundated by Bellatrix’s cruciatus, I decided to simply try and surrender fully to the experience: I asked, with all my might (to whoever is out there) to simply give me what I need in order to survive this truly crazy lifetime.
And what did I get in return?
A couple days later (I really kid you not) my purple sweet potato sourdough video went low key viral on TikTok. And it was fun so I decided to try my best and post a few more… and we’re now over 10 million views and 1 million likes later.
The result?
In all the years I’ve spent hiding (for I started writing gnom-gnom years back pretty much anonymously), I frankly didn’t know just how badly I actually needed to come out in the open and dare to be seen again by my fellow humans (hi! it’s been a while)(and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for such a warm welcome).
So I’ve been sitting here over the past couple weeks or so feeling a little bit like Dobby after he was granted freedom:
(with a heaping tablespoon of Ron Weasley before a Quidditch match)
The bottom line?
It’s terrifying to put yourself out there, to stand by your truth… but if you learn anything from my dire predicament, I hope its that daring to show up irrevocably as yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself (and indirectly as I’m finding, the only revenge worth plotting).
For just like many of you have noticed a change in my videos since “my coming out party”, I too have felt like a different person as the feeling of freedom permeates through my life (and I in no way would’ve anticipated it to be such a profoundly life altering experience)(so thank you for giving me a little space to find myself again).
So. The bottom (bottom) line?
I’m thinking I might just need to be as loud as I want… by silently baking bread 😎
but today’s recipe in question: a lightly sweet and a tad salty (yet wonderfully chocolatey) sourdough loaf.
p.s. do know that it can also go savory(ish)- say switching the chocolate chips for pickled chipotle is ace too)(and I made an obscene brie, bacon and strawberry jam sandwich with it). Or do as I did in the video above (i.e. goth bread!) and just add a hint of chocolate to your loafs by marbling it in.
BUT Paola! I’m new to sourdough so a list of special equipment first, pretty pls! has been a common request by y’all (particularly regarding “what is that thing you’re baking it in called?!”).
full disclosure: I believe we’ve a tendency to focus a tad too much on equipment and tools nowadays, and all you actually need to make terrific sourdough is a strong starter, good bread flour and a cast iron pot (which can even be two inexpensive lodge skillets placed together)… and the skill.
Great tasting sourdough truly lies more in understanding your dough (and hydration), getting your stretch ‘n folds down to create a nice structure, learning to shape in order to create tension (which results in a bubbly, light and ultra crisp crust), and understanding when to stop the fermentation process (i.e. make the call to bake).
Still. Some tools do make our job a tad easier:
your hands are the ultimate tool here (and arguably your energy, as we’re dealing with a living organism)(so don’t be thinking of the death eaters in your life, pretty pls)– so skip the danish whisk etc and get mixing all your ingredients the truly old fashioned way, as you’ll not only be imparting further microorganisms into the mix… but you’ll be getting to know the texture of your dough, first hand.
a scale (!!) besties, I simply will not give sourdough recipes to y’all in anything but grams. why? because I want you to succeed and you simply won’t know exactly what hydration you’re working with unless you’re precisely measuring your ingredients (plus, less cleanup never hurt anyone).
a large glass or ceramic bowl (legend has it that anything metal hinders the fermentation… but it’s unclear how much of that is a wives tale).
linen (beautiful but $) or simply waffle kitchen towels (my personal choice as I don’t have to baby them in the wash)– either flour great and the dough doesn’t stick to them)
a banneton– yes, you can absolutely use a smaller sized bowl lined with a (suuuper well floured) kitchen towel… but I’ve noticed much nicer results on the crust with these i.e. minimum investment and maximum gain
a similar scenario with a razor blade for scoring: knifes, no matter how sharp, will truly wreck your dough (and you must score otherwise your bread will explode at its weakest point). You can purchase a little bread lame or just a pack of razor blades (just be careful with your fingertips and don’t hold them directly)(not even if you see me doing it 👀).
and finally a cast iron dutch oven. I’ve this bread oven from Le Creuset, which I would consider truly top of the line as it has the perfect domed structure for the loafs to expand (like I’ve been baking all these guys on a little electric countertop oven since my oven nearly exploded… at just 370F rather than 450F). That said, any dutch oven will work just as well in a regular oven (I’ve baked equally good loafs in my little red one that you usually see on my stovetop). And, again, I’ve baked equally terrific loafs with a Lodge set up such as this one (for sourdough is a bit like photography, in that an expensive camera is rendered useless without the skill).
p.s. other than baking equipment, the second most frequent question I’ve gotten is why do my doughs look “so different” (i.e. stretchy). And it is simply because I favor working with higher hydration doughs.
bonus: a few starter thriving tips 🌋
keep your little tamagotchis in a dark spot (a few of you were keeping them in a sunny spot in your kitchens for warmth… don’t! sunlight kills your culture)
feed them only mineral water, as distilled water ads no jam to the mix and anything chlorine literally kills the culture (this really should tell everyone what they ought to be drinking too… given that we have our own tamagotchis in our digestive tract too)
feed them something other than unbleached bread flour for extra nutrients (and flavor). Say doing 30% rye flour is a classic, just take into account that your starter will take a bit longer to reach peak as there’s more to digest (which is why more whole or heirloom flours are also known to decrease glucose spikes in us humans)(not to mention, your starters will also be producing a discard which is much richer in nutrients to use up in recipes)
feed them daily: it’s a labor of love to create a strong starter, but it really does take them 4-6 months to reach peak maturity. That said, you can bake terrific bread after just 10-14 days fear not.
more on my own starters Montana & Yosemite (and creating your own) here.
(ask a question, post a thought 🤌🏼)
xo! Paola
(salted brownie) chocolate sourdough 🍫
Think ultra chocolatey, lightly sweet and a tad salty– a perfect vessel for bright summer jams to be chased down with coffee.
p.s. I highly suggest going through the trouble of blooming your cocoa with hot water prior, as you’ll be taking the chocolate flavor to a whole other level (bonus points for adding vanilla bean powder).
To scale to however many loafs you want (or 1 loaf in grams)
ingredients
80% (400g) spring water
10% (50g) cocoa (Valrhona will forever be my favorite)(+ 1/2 tsp vanilla bean powder)
10% (50g) raw honey
20% (100g) active sourdough starter
90% (450g) unbleached bread flour*
2% (10g) fine sea salt
+ chocolate chips, chunks and flaky sea salt to garnish
feed your starter
Add roughly 70-100g of flour to feed your starter (you want 100g of active starter for the recipe, so it depends on how big you keep your starter (say you may want to feed it for a couple days without discarding if you keep a small one going)(or if you’re taking yours out of the fridge you’ll def need to do one feeding before it’s strong enough to bake with).
Add enough spring water (you don’t want filtered, you really do want the added minerals) until the dough resembles a thick pancake batter. Generally 70g of water/100 g of flour (i.e. a 70% ratio) is enough to get the consistency right. But if you’re using heritage grains or most gluten free flours you’ll need to add a little more.
Remember: thick pancake batter (like keto pancakes, I know y’all know!).
Allow to rest for 3-6 hours in a warm(ish) place: until it doubles in size. You can test for prime activity fairly well either using the float test (as it sounds: check if your starter floats in a little water) or the burn test (tap your starter on the counter to “break the surface”, light a match and if it blows out it means your starter is using up all the oxygen in the surrounding area i.e. it’s sourdough time).
3-6 hours later: make your dough
Add the water (preferably at room temp) and active starter to a large bowl. Using your hands (though some peeps favor a danish hook) mix the starter with the water until dissolved (don’t overthink it if a few lumps remain).
Add in the flour, sweet potato powder (if using) and salt and mix with your hands until just combined and the dough is all shaggy (and sticky).
Cover with a kitchen towel and let it rest for 30 minutes.
30 mins later: bulk rise (plus stretch ‘n folds)
Thirty minutes in you’ll want to do a set of “stretch ‘n folds”: grab a hold of the dough, stretch it upwards and fold it down towards the center of the bowl. Rotate and repeat four times (you can watch me do it here).
Repeat one to three more times every thirty minutes. Now, how many “stretch ‘n folds” to do is something that varies according to folklore. I’ve made terrific loafs with just two sets, but I do feel like going up to three or four gives the loafs more structure (particularly when adding in gluten free flours to the mix).
Transfer to a smaller bowl (as it’s easier to gauge the rise if you can actually mark it with a sharpie) and cover with a kitchen towel.
Allow to rest for 3-10 hours, or until at least doubled in size (remember that time here is directly influenced by temperature so it’ll vary greatly)(p.s. I generally let mine go until it almost tripes as I’ve pushed it just until the point that it begins to recede back and it still comes out superb)(and I personally find it easiest to digest).
4-8 hours later: shape
Watch me shape it here:
Lightly flour your working surface, turn the dough out and stretch it out gently (allow it to rest for 10 minutes if it “feels” like it’s resisting)(you’ll know, trust me!). Stretch it out, fold the sides in, and roll it gently but tightly. You then want to roll it gently against the counter towards you a few times (this creates surface tension, making for a better crust!).
Transfer to a (very well floured or lined) banneton or small-ish bowl and cover with a paper towel, place inside a plastic bag and refrigerate for 12-72 hours (depending on how long you want to proof it for).
Or allow to proof at room temperature for about 2 more hours, until it springs back to touch (you literally want to poke it gently, and if it springs back you know you’re golden)(though if it springs back too quickly it’s actually under-proofed)(and, you may’ve guessed it, if it doesn’t spring back at all you’re now over-proofed). i.e. this is why baking a few loafs and poking them around throughout it’s stages is highly suggested.
2 hours later: bake away!
(or if you do a cold fermentation… and wait 12-48 hours)(and note that breads that’ve honey in them don’t tend to hold well for 72hr proofs)
Preheat oven to 450°F/230°C with your Dutch oven inside for 20 minutes (some peeps bake at a lower temperature, say 420°F, it depends a bit on your oven).
Score loaf in order to allow it to expand evenly (and create a beautiful “ear”). Knifes don’t quite work here, a razor blade really is prime.
Bake lid on for 20 minutes, remove lid and bake for 20 more minutes or until deeply golden brown (if you tap it on the bottom it’ll also sound hollow).
Allow to cool completely if you want it at its best– but 20 minutes will do if you simply can’t hold your horses (and you don’t want to wreck your crumb)(though please do wreck your crumb once and crack it open fresh out the oven, so ykwim).
p.s. my best suggestion for storing your sourdough is to simply keep it in your bread or Dutch oven (what I do). But investing in a bread tin is neat too!
*King Arthur bread flour is likely the easiest, yet still pretty great, bread flour to “learn” sourdough with.
I think about you often when you go silent and send healing prayers your way. I wish I could do more, but I’m so proud of you as I cannot imagine what I would do in your situation. I simply cannot even imagine the choices I’d make…
Also, did you just make GOTH BREAD?! Keep shining bright ✨
The change in your light is evident, as are the beautifully creative loafs you've been baking for us!